I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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