ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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