**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
its not stalking. its research.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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