My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
