Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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