Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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