Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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