no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
