I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
