oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
