im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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