I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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