Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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