Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
