So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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