Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
