told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize