I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
