Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
