I'm going to jail i love you
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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