I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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