My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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