Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
