First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
