Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
