ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
