i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
