If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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