Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
