Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
