..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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