you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
im on a boat
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