Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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