i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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