Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
