You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
