Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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