How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
