so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
