Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
