I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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