why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
