I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
