Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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