Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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