Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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