Rock
Scissors
Fuck
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
