you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
