I seem to have left my pride at pride
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize