I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
