Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
