You just made me feel so damn special
i just google imaged poop.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
