My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
