So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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