i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We need to get me chipped asap
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
