Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
