And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
