before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
