I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
