I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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