Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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