I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
